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Fall 2003 

Holiday Happiness: A Guide for PWCs
By sharon Clem

For people with CFIDS, the holidays can sometime seem like just one more hurdle to clamber over. But if you plan ahead, you can save energy, money and time, lower your stress level — and enjoy the season much more.

Christmas will always be different than what it was before you got sick. Try not to compare how much better everything was in the past, but focus on what’s good about this year’s celebration and the things you can still do.

Here are some tips to help you unplug the Christmas Machine and make everything more manageable:

Take a hard look at family traditions and discard those you don’t want to (or can’t) continue doing. Don’t let false guilt make you endure things that just aren’t fun, appropriate, necessary, meaningful or affordable.

Learn to say "no" to activities and people that are "life-takers" rather than life-givers. If a family member is highly critical of CFIDS, limit exposure to him or her as much as possible. Choose to be around those who love and support you instead. That’s the whole idea of the holidays, anyway.

Carefully pace yourself. Before you do anything else, write down all activities on your calendar/date book — including wrapping, shopping, parties and scheduled rest time. Stay within your energy envelope by doing only half of what you have energy for so you won’t relapse.

Eliminate and simplify as much as possible. I used to bake oodles of goodies the whole month of December. Now I just make one special dessert for Christmas dinner and buy other treats at the bakery if I need them.

Delegate tasks to family members or friends. Send them to do some shopping with ads from the newspaper. Have them address envelopes or decorate. No one said that women — especially those with CFIDS — have to do everything that’s done for Christmas.

Go to only those parties that you really want or need to attend. Allow yourself a set amount of time, perhaps an hour or so, then say your good-byes. That way, you can enjoy your time and keep your energy for another day. To keep from becoming tongue-tied, think of some topics of conversation ahead of time. Eat wholesome food before you go so you’ll have some energy. Avoid alcohol and sugar because CFIDS patients don’t tolerate them well. Rest all day before going and schedule a day or two afterwards to rest.

Don’t try to visit everyone in your family on Christmas Day. For example, have one of the get-togethers the Sunday before. In the old days, we visited my in-laws at 8:30 a.m. to open presents, then dashed to another relative’s home for breakfast and more presents. We returned to the first house for dinner, to be followed by a visit to a different family for more festivities, finally dragging home about 8–9 p.m. Stop! That’s too much!

Spend wisely and you’ll save money that you need for the other 364 days.

Try drawing names from a hat so that you’re not required to buy gifts for everyone. Or give gifts only to children. Buy practical, useful gifts; don’t splurge on gag gifts. Begin shopping several months early to take advantage of sales (make sure you save receipts in case someone needs to return a gift). Do not feel pressured to keep up with others’ spending, because they will not be paying your credit card bills for you.

Have your children make a list of everything they want, in order of importance. Buy the first three or four things on it. If a friend or relative asks you what your child wants, give them something from farther down the list.

Send cards to out-of-town friends only, and purchase them when they’re on sale. Recycle old cards into post cards for next year — the postage is less.

Use Sunday comics in place of expensive wrapping paper. Buy spools of yarn or ribbon to make your own bows. And be sure to save and re-use bows you receive on your presents next year.

Buy a few decorations on sale after the holidays. You’ll have a couple of new pieces for next year, and you won’t have to break the bank. Going out the day after Christmas is not a good idea, however; the crowds and traffic can be very difficult to handle. There will still be plenty on sale a day or two later.

You can make decorations yourself — or embellish those you already have with a new ribbons, glitter, sequins or gold paint. String popcorn for garland. Cut fresh greenery from trees in your yard (or ask the Christmas tree salesman for a few pieces he cuts off the bottom of his trees). You can make these boughs into wreaths, centerpieces of decorations for your mantel. Fill a pretty bowl with bright red apples or fresh lemons, and garnish with a sprig of evergreen.

Take advantage of catalogue and Internet shopping. You can save lots of time, energy — and money — if you buy gifts this way. You also could adopt a year-round buying strategy. If you see something that would make a great holiday gift, buy it and save it until Christmas. That will even out your spending, and keep you from buying gifts that are too expensive or not exactly what you want just because you have to buy something.

Remember that Christmas is basically an American and Western European celebration. Most people in the world don’t observe it, so keep things in perspective.

And if your holiday doesn’t turn out as perfectly as you had hoped it would, remember that others in the world don’t have it as good as you. When I focus on that, my own disappointments don’t seem so painful.

I hope this gets you started on the road to a happier and more satisfying Christmas. Feel free to come up with your own ideas and new traditions, and discard those that didn’t interest you or work for you.

Most of all, Happy Holidays!

Sharon Clem lives in Tennessee.