A Blessing in Disguise
Ashley Frankel

High school senior Ashley Frankel's essay on having CFS earned her a scholarship.

Every morning, it gets harder and harder to open my eyes. They are always heavy feeling, as though I have weights on my lids. They are constantly pushing shut. I cannot wake up, but I have to. I have school.

Getting out of bed in the morning, to me, is like climbing a mountain. Slow and hard, and sometimes you might want to quit and just go back down—or in my case fall back asleep—but you cannot because goals have been set and you want to prove to people that you are still strong, even at your weakest moments. Yet it’s still a hurdle I have to overcome.

After I finally wake up and get ready for school, I take a deep breath and brace myself for the rest of the day. Luckily, I am a senior, and I have the privilege to get out of school at just past noon. Although I have a short day everyday, maintaining straight A’s is not exactly as easy for me as it is for most seniors. Because I have chronic fatigue syndrome, I miss a significant amount of school, which is excused by my doctor. Thankfully my teachers are extremely understanding. I keep up and make up all my school work and, in my eyes that is a big accomplishment, considering how I feel physically all the time.     

The worst part about having chronic fatigue syndrome is that many people do not understand it, or agree with it. Often times, from fellow students I get, “Well, I’m tired all the time too. Does that mean I never get to come to school?” What they do not know is that it is a lot deeper than “tired.”

I do not feel like a normal eighteen year old. I want to be active, I want to get a job, I want to hang with my friends after school, but normally I can’t. I come home every day at just past noon, eat something, and take a nap—usually until five o’clock. I then eat dinner, and afterwards I do my homework or studying, and then I go to sleep.    

Despite my difficulties, I have extremely supportive friends and family to help me through this. They truly go above and beyond the call of duty to assist me and keep me healthy, happy, active, in high spirits and proud of myself. 

I have recently been accepted to Lynn University Boca Raton, Florida. Sunshine does everyone some good, and perhaps I’ll be no exception. As of right now, I am interested in majoring in communications. I want to be a famous medical news reporter. I want to keep people informed and aware.

Having chronic fatigue syndrome has definitely influenced my goals for the future. I can almost look at it as a blessing in disguise; I have to push a little harder, and walk against the wind, but at the end of my race, I always feel like I am a winner.