The Power of Positive Support

By Meghan Brawley, Association summer intern

Lesa Ingraham played golf whenever she could, walked four miles four to five times each week, danced with her husband at the local country and western establishment and lived her life to its fullest potential. That was a glimpse of Lesa’s life four and a half years ago. 

On June 4, 1999, Lesa came home from her full-time job as a high school guidance specialist not feeling well. One week later she was diagnosed with mononucleosis and pneumonia. Her summer vacation was spent recuperating. However, upon returning to work in August, Lesa realized something was horribly wrong. She could no longer perform even routine tasks. “I was flooded with overwhelming fatigue, weakness and a feeling that I was disintegrating from the inside out,” Lesa remembers.

“Prior to this illness, I was an outstanding employee who rarely took time off due to illness and could always be counted on to stay late, come in early and take on the project no one else wanted to tackle,” Lesa recalls. Lesa’s co-workers eventually prompted her to speak with the school principal, who arranged for her to take a medical leave. Lesa hasn’t worked since.

Now, forty-six-year-old Lesa describes herself as unreliable, confused, weary, quiet and distant. A far cry from the active, fit, enthusiastic and capable woman she once was. Despite Lesa’s limitations, she still yearns to be the person who will go the extra mile and works each day to stay positive in her fight against CFIDS.

Fortunately, Lesa is one of the lucky PWCs who has a support system firmly in place. Lesa’s husband, Larry, is a huge comfort because he is such a great communicator. “We talk a lot about feelings and that whole thing,” said Lesa. When Lesa doesn’t feel well enough to join him, Larry is still able to do things independently, and he is great at recounting events and making her feel okay even though she can’t be there with him. Their mutual sense of humor is also essential to their relationship. Lesa and Larry do a lot of laughing together.

Lesa’s parents and two sisters have also provided the communicative and emotional support she needs to see the light at the end of the tunnel. “My mom and dad have always been there for me. That sounds very cliché, but it’s the truth. I cannot think of a time they’ve let me down,” she said. But the illness still takes an emotional toll: “I know my parents say that I’m great to have around because I act like I’m more their age now. I love hanging out with them, but I’m not 70,” Lesa laments.

Lesa has also always been close to her sisters and considers them best friends. “My older sister, Di Ann, prays for me often and that warms my soul,” said Lesa. Her younger sister, Kellye, is a child life specialist at the Children’s Medical Center in Dallas , Texas . “She is excellent in helping me understand how a chronic illness affects not only me, but my family members as well. Even when she was little, she had amazing insight and a way of saying just the right thing to make me feel better. This has not changed.”

Lesa may feel lousy, but she loves her life. She hopes that those people struggling to be taken seriously or get diagnosed will keep pushing until they can find a physician who knows about CFIDS and who believes in them. “You get so many negatives coming at you that you really have to fight to stay positive,” Lesa insists.

The importance of Lesa’s faith in God and the growth in her faith since the beginning of her fight with CFIDS has been an important blessing. Despite the days when she feels down, Lesa has never been depressed. “I try to look at all the good things and my faith.  I know that God has a plan for my life and I trust Him completely. And if this is what He wants me to do, I’m going to do it and do my best at it,” Lesa explained. Lesa may have found a way to live with CFIDS in a manner that is personally satisfying to her, but she hasn’t resigned herself to it. She just stays optimistic with the continuous encouragement of her family.

“It is possible that tomorrow may be the beginning of my true and complete recovery. In six months, I may be back to my old active self and working hard to keep myself in shape,” Lesa hopes. A complete physical and symptomatic recovery from CFIDS may or may not be in Lesa’s future, but judging from her positive attitude and generous support network, she has found her own way to adapt to the illness.