Coping Corner, Spring '97

By Jenn Waterman

Originally published in Youth Allied By CFIDS, Spring 1997

Greetings from blossoming Boston, Massachusetts and welcome back to "The Coping Corner"! I hope that this edition finds you reveling in the signs of spring.

The first sprouts of green after the long New England winter always bring promise of fresh hopes and dreams and it seems appropriate that this time of year is home to International CFIDS Awareness Day. I hope that each and every one of you will renew your commitment to spreading understanding and awareness this year. Remember that each step, no matter how small, is better than no step at all.

If you have a tip for spreading awareness, whether it is writing a powerful letter to a politician or local paper or simply finding the strength to speak up for yourself at a family gathering, please share it with us! Write to me at: Jenn Waterman, 103 County Road, Reading MA 01867.

I hope you'll find the following tips helpful!

You Are What You Eat
The most popular New Year's resolutions in this country involve dieting. For people with CFIDS, this four-letter word can have a much different meaning than the desire to fit into that little black dress. Persons with CFIDS (PWCs) often find that reducing or eliminating some foods from their diets can relieve many symptoms. But although we're all VERY eager to see the end result and feel better (even just a tiny bit), it's often not easy to say goodbye to our favorite snacks.

Bek Oberlin, a 22-year-old PWC from Victoria, Australia, has had experience with medical diets. For the past year her doctor has had her on a diet that excludes dairy, yeast, caffeine and more. Bek knows as well as any dieter the frustrations and temptations of these restricted eating plans. Because of this she has found a number of ways to ease the pain and increase her willpower and chance of success.

She advises, "Sit down with a bit of paper, an 'allergy-free' cookbook, and your imagination, and write a list of every single meal or food you can think of that you can eat!" Bek says it has helped her to post this list in a place where she can see it often, such as on the door of her fridge. When you start feeling that there is nothing you can eat and that you'll go crazy and starve to death on the diet, you can look at the list and know this isn't true. She also suggests keeping a list of foods that can satisfy your cravings without ruining your diet or causing you a severe reaction or relapse. For example, she finds that mints can help her through a sweet craving without causing her system distress. Keep the cabinets stocked with the good foods that are okay and not with things that will constantly tempt you. And if you do fall off the diet wagon once in awhile, realize that it's not the end of the world. Just get back on and hang in there! You're not alone.

How do you deal with medical diets? What are your secrets for success? Let us know!

Dream Box
Two "Coping Corners" ago I introduced the idea of a Dream Box. This is a box that you cover with things that mean something to you or say something about you, such as pictures or stickers and favorite quotations. You fill the box with special things to pull out to occupy your nights of insomnia.

Inside my Dream Box you'll discover several pads of paper along with pens, pencils, markers and even crayons. The times when I am awake with insomnia are the times when I do some of my best thinking. It helps me to have paper and a pen handy to record these rare and momentous bursts of thought. When I can't sleep, the house is at its most quiet (if I ignore my family's snoring) and the silence can bring a number of feelings to the surface for me. Sometimes I am lonely and afraid - as I ponder the future and things that go bump in the night. Sometimes I am sad. Sometimes angry. It helps me to write these feelings down or to draw a picture. It often makes me feel more in control, because when I write my feelings out I am able to better understand them and what I can do to help myself. Just getting them down on paper can get them out of my system and ease my mind a bit.

Sometimes I feel creative and I write stories or poems and draw pictures. Sometimes I'll write letters to friends because that makes me feel less alone. I often write "The Coping Corner" while I'm lying awake at strange hours of the night! (I know, this explains a LOT!)

As I lie in the dark, hovering between being awake and asleep, with my mind just beginning to relax, I sometimes think of things that I have struggled all day to recall - a phone number or the name of a book that I wanted to get at the library. Having a pen and piece of paper right by my bed keeps me from having to scramble and risk forgetting it all.

Marty Ratigan, a PWC from California, agrees with these Dream Box fillers. She says, "I really think that one day scientists will 'reveal' that doodling sends our brains down the path that leads to sleep or at least relaxation." And we could all use that!

That's all for this time! Have a wonderful May 12th and make a difference in your life this spring by promoting awareness. Not only will it help every PWC, it will also make you feel good to be doing something to change the world.

Many thanks to Bek and Marty for participating in this issue! See you next time in "The Coping Corner"!