CFIDS Profiles: Jake Parsons

Changing Negatives to Positives

By Jake Parsons

Originally published in Youth Allied By CFIDS, Fall 1997

In the fall of 1995, a metamorphosis was occurring. The body which once handled the most demanding physical and mental tasks with alacrity and ease was slowly degenerating into a befuddled heap which, like the blindfolded person in a foreign land, was hopelessly lost.

This is a description of my onset and nearly two years later, I find my body firmly transfixed in a massive state of disequilibrium. It seems as though some insidious and malevolent force has found an environment that it just doesn't want to leave. My body has been dropped into a gloomy and sinuous labyrinth and can't seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

If you are reading this, most likely you or someone close to you have CFIDS and, like me, have experienced first-hand its debilitating effects. I am 21 years old and, until a year and a half ago, was a forestry major at Iowa State University. Then, as though a tornado had passed, my health was gone.

However, I have realized that I can gain many positives despite this negative situation. I have adopted a strategy for healing and gained many things from having this illness. I have also learned that there are socio-political factors that must be changed to increase acceptance and avoid minimization of the disease and people who have it.

My Healing Strategy
After a year and a half of experimenting with virtually every nutritional supplement and herb known to man, I have adopted a new healing strategy: Faith! Although I see faith in God as important, that is not necessarily what I mean. Faith in yourself, your nutritional regimen and, most importantly, the knowledge that someday you will be much healthier are essential. If you don't truly believe you will someday get better, you probably won't.

I've begun to meditate on the many strengths that can be found in this extreme weakness. These strengths, like faith, are individual. The bottom line is that I must do what is best for me and not under any circumstances second-guess myself.

I spend my limited "up" time reading books, writing and studying the dictionary to hopefully enhance my leadership capabilities. I know that compared to other 21-year-olds I have significantly greater mental toughness and maturity. After all, people with CFIDS have experienced adversity that most other young people haven't and, though we lack physical power, we have a mental clarity and drive gained only through hardship.

What is the Purpose?
Perhaps the best line you can repeat to yourself in times of total debilitation is this: there are no coincidences in life, everything has a distinct purpose. So what is our purpose? I believe we have dual purposes.

First, when explanations of our illness are met with contempt or disbelief, it is imperative that we aren't apathetic. We must learn to get assertive with these people and advocate so the illness will gain the recognition it deserves. I believe the best way to spread awareness is to detail the scientific theories that pertain to the illness and make it known that the illness is heterogeneous and quite serious, not just simply tiredness. I have found that developing an expertise on the disease helps immensely.

I believe our second purpose is to become strong advocates of environmental restoration and preservation. There is evidence that environmental degradation and increased pollution cause over-activation of the immune system, possibly playing an integral role in CFIDS. Until sweeping changes are made in environmental policies, CFIDS will continue to spread, creating a large financial burden on our economy. Many healthy people aren't aware of this because our society tends to grasp at panaceas which achieve short-term gratification and prosperity, but have lasting ill effects.

We must strive to create long-term plans which place health above wealth and success in business. If you have CFIDS, you probably know that all the amenities in life mean nothing without health. Both conclusions engender this idea: the only way for evil to flourish is for good people to remain silent.