I'm Not Dead, I'm Just Homebound
By Nichole
Foster
Originally published in Youth
Allied By CFIDS, Spring
1996
Sitting in class, the teacher tells everyone to pass their homework to
the front of the room. Reaching back to grab the assignment from the girl who
sits behind you leaves you empty handed. Turning slightly, you see that she's
absent - again.
Since she hasn't been there for a couple
weeks, or longer, you are curious about what happened to her. So you casually
ask anyone that can hear you, "Hey, does anyone know what happened to that girl
that's supposed to sit behind me?"
You get various responses from students
sitting near you.
"I heard she moved," says the boy in
front
of you.
A girl across the aisle says, "No,
I heard
she dropped out."
A boy in the front row laughs, and
calls
back, "Maybe she died!"
Shrugging your shoulders, you try to
concentrate on listening to the teacher. You start daydreaming, not giving
another thought to "that girl" until the next day when you reach for her
homework. Hmm, maybe she is dead.
Well, I can tell you exactly where
"that
girl" is, because I'm her. And, no I'm not writing to you from beyond the grave
- I'm alive, basically happy, and though not completely healthy, I'm far from
being six feet underground. I'm just on homebound.
Homebound is when you are unable to
go to
school for some reason, as determined by your doctor. You don't give school up
completely, if that's what you're thinking. Instead of going to school, school
comes to you. Teachers come to your house once or twice a week, for about an
hour each visit.
Now, I can't count the number of times
I've
had friends say things like, "That sounds great! I want to be sick so I can go
on homebound."
I always reply, "No, you don't!" And
here's
why:
First of all, and to me most importantly,
if you're sick enough to be on homebound, you're too sick to enjoy being at
home! I spend my days taking medicine, doing school work and resting. Despite
what many people seem to think about what I do all day, I'm not partying or
having loads of fun.
I guess, then, that my next point is
that I
miss out on all the fun. Being sick has caused me to miss out on things I've
planned to do. I miss out on going to school club meetings and other
after-school activities. (I know, I know - not everyone sees these things as
fun, but I miss them.) I hardly ever get to do things like go to the movies or
hang out at the mall with my friends. Sitting at home all the time is just plain
boring. But if someone from school sees me outside of school, I get bombarded
with questions.
So, just so you understand, being on
homebound means (at least in my case) that I'm not up to going to school all day
everyday. It is easier to go on homebound, because otherwise, I would just miss
a lot of school, and fall way behind on my school work. It does not mean that I
can't leave the house! In fact I need to leave the house sometimes, to keep my
life from being too monotonous. So, if you see me out at the store or something,
please, don't make a big deal about it. I'm just trying to keep from getting
"cabin fever."
Believe it or not, when you're not
in
school you start to miss it. I miss talking to my friends in front of my locker
every morning, waving to people in the hallways as we rush to classes, and just
seeing other people besides my mom, brother and niece everyday. Homebound isn't
as great as it first sounds - take it from "that girl."
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