Summer Fun for Two

For Siblings of CFIDS Kids (SOCKs)

By Katherine Moore

Originally published in Youth Allied By CFIDS, Summer 1997

After a one-issue hiatus, "The SOCK Drawer" is back and just brimming with summer fun! In this column, Siblings of CFIDS Kids (SOCKs) share our stories and ideas about having a family member with chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome (CFIDS). Since the summer of 1996, we’ve heard from Ben Frese, Tara Hardinge and me, all of whom have spoken of how CFIDS has changed our lives, as well as those of our siblings.

In this edition, I’d like to speak about those wonderful months when schools are deserted and vacation has begun. Without a care in the world, we see the long stretch of free days before us and sigh in contentment. But for many SOCKs, this thought is always in the back of our minds: What is it like for my sibling to be left behind?

Summer is a time when we’re not forced to go to school or do homework. With that kind of freedom, it’s easy to "go off and leave" your brother or sister without meaning to hurt his or her feelings. I’ve often struggled with this issue. I love my sister and we have fun together, but I have other friends, too. How do we find a balance? This is especially hard during vacation, when there are so many fun things for you to do… but not all that many for young persons with CFIDS (YPWCs). The way I see it, SOCKs can have fun inside and outside the house and can spend time doing both. I don’t need to remind you what’s out there for summer fun, but I do have some ideas for YPWC/SOCK fun.

Soap Dish
Every Friday our local paper has a column called "Tune In to the Soaps," which gives a synopsis of the plots of the daytime dramas. Neither my sister Rebecca nor I has ever had the attention span to follow one of those sagas, so we have fun on Fridays reading up on them and making parodies. ("And Alfonse neglected to inform Dolores that her illegitimate son, while having amnesia, had robbed a bank in Mexico before coming to his senses and remembering that he was a bishop in Finland married to Alfonse’s third cousin Lydia…") We have big ideas for a long-running soap set in a nursing home and called The Old and the Decrepit. Almost any group of people you know can be caricatured into a drama, and planning one is lots of fun.

Bon Apetit!
Many CFIDS patients have rather strange diets. ("Strange" is an understatement.) Rebecca’s is no exception; she’s off gluten, dairy and a number of other foods. But, after some digging in recipe files and cookbooks, you’re bound to find some things that you both can eat. Put on some tunes, let your sibling crash on the kitchen floor if he or she needs to, and have a chef’s party. It’s fun, and it’s also productive.

Lights, Camera, Action
There are more movies in the video store than you could ever see, but we’re giving it a shot. Rebecca and I like to pop some popcorn, sack out on the couch and watch our old favorites or the ones we never got a chance to see in the theaters. Rebecca doesn’t have to leave the house, and we have fun together.

B-Flat, Please
Often Rebecca and I sit down with the guitar or at the piano and sing. I’ll bring home my school music or we’ll use one of our many song books. Sometimes we sing songs from the radio. It’s a nice activity for us to do together, and we can do as much or as little as we want. (Okay, okay. Rebecca lies on the floor and sings half melody, half harmony — whichever she remembers — while Katherine fills in parts as necessary! —the Editors)

Lovely Day for a Walk
Depending on the health of your sibling, walks can be a good way to get out in the sunshine and have fun. Until recently, Rebecca couldn’t walk very easily. So I would push her wheelchair down the sidewalk and it was a good way for both of us to get fresh air. Now that Rebecca can walk down the street and back, we have nice times together walking and talking. Which brings me to my final topic…

Chit Chat
The simplest thing for you to do with your sibling is to sit down and talk. If you’ve come home from a summer activity, there’s often the temptation to sit in front of the television or the computer and just relax for a while. But you can relax by telling your sibling about where you’ve been and what you’ve done. I couldn’t count the number of hours Rebecca and I have spent just talking and laughing together. By making a little effort, we’ve gotten to be best friends, and now it’s not an effort at all.

Sometimes as SOCKs we feel that there are major differences between our siblings and ourselves. After all, just look at the things we’re able to do that they’re not. But summer is a wonderful time to focus on our similarities, of which there are many. These vacation months can be a whole lot of fun for YPWCs and SOCKs alike, and I look forward to them.